Paradise Now...For Who?

Paradise Now (2005) PG-13

This one could be considered "controversial" to some...you've been warned. This is a flick about two young Palastinians who are "picked" to be suicide bombers. It follows these two young men on the night before they are supposed to pull off the bombings and the various feelings they have being with their family, girlfriends, etc. The flick tries to humanize the bombers who are just a product of their upbringings. It was an interesting watch.I thought the end fizzled out a bit, but it did keep you wondering...what's going to happen next.

Huh Huh Huh...The Chinese Seamstress Said Balzac

Balzac And The Little Chinese Seamstress (2002) Rating: NR

A Chinese flick based on the director's autobiography, it takes place in a remote village where people were sent to be "re-educated" and cleansed of non Communist influences during the Cultural Revolution in Maoist China. A young man and his friend, meet the village's young seamstress and end up spending time together. At one point in the flick they come across "banned" books such as Balzac and other various non Communist authors. They go to a little area they dubbed the "book grotto" where they read the banned books and eventually teach the seamstress to read. And of course, what would a flick like this be without the love triangle...he loves her, she loves him, and he loves her too. Sadly there was no nudity though. Towards the end they show the boys now grown up, reuniting and we find out what happened to the other characters we meet throughout the flick...what happened to the seamstress? Well I guess you'll just have to watch for yourself won't you? I think it's worth seeing (despite the lack of nudity).

The Diary Of Goebbels

The Goebbels Experiment (2005) Rating: NR

So I may have mentioned before that I find WWII stuff fascinating. I want to make it clear that I don't approve of the Nazi's, hate, or anything of that nature. That being said, this was a documentary with Kenneth Branagh reading excerpts from the diaries of Joseph Goebbels the head of Nazi propaganda during WWII sprinkled in with various clips of him giving speeches and other WWII footage. It was an interesting watch, but to be honest, at times it got a bit dull. There is only so much one can do with reading a diary. From a historical view, of course, it was great. But entertainment value, not so much. So depending on your taste, I would recommend it if you're looking for a good historical documentary.

Pictures Of Petite Lili

La Petite Lili (2003) Rating: NR

I had high hopes for this flick for two reasons. First, it is directed by the guy who directed The Swimming Pool (yeah you remember that movie don't you...wink wink) and second, it starts with a good lookin' blond girl taking her dress off (complete with pubes...yeah you know you like that too). After that, there was no more nudity. The story itself is ok, but not enough to be great, or terrible. Just somewhere in the middle. The story is about a guy who lives in a small town in France. His dream is to direct films with "meaning"...you know the type...what do they call them...oh yeah...douche bags. After a screening of the flick (starring the naked blond) goes poorly, he becomes a moody douche bag and mopes around for the rest of the flick. The girl ends up talking with a famous director who happens to be there, with the douche bag's mother who is an actress. The young girl and director end up falling for each other and he promises to make her a star. That's pretty much all that really happens, other than the basic drama that comes with living in a small town in France. If you're into that sorta thing, check it out, otherwise you're not missing much if you choose to skip it.

He'll Never Be The Last In Line Again!!!!

So the final posting of this week isn't a review. It's in honor of one of the greatest singers of all time, who sadly passed away yesterday. What I say here can't even begin to describe what he meant to so many people, myself included. So instead of rambling on and doing the same thing a billion and some people have already done...I figured I would share this video with you all. So get your ass to the back of the line and STAND UP AND SHOUT!!!

Mmmm...French Chocolate!

Merci Pour Le Chocolat (2000) Rating: NR

A french film (bet you had no idea), about a young lady who finds out there was confusion the day she was born, and was almost given to the wrong family. She ends up going to meet the man who may, or may not, be her father who happens to be a famous pianist. She herself is a pianist, which makes her even more suspicious. When she meets the family she finds out that the pianist's first wife (and her possible mother) was killed in an accident years ago. He is now married to another woman who is the head of a chocolate factory. As time goes on and she spends more time with the family she comes to the conclusion that the mother is trying to poison their son (the child that the girl was confused with at the hospital). I won't give any more away, but it really becomes a suspenseful "what's going to happen" type of flick. I enjoyed it. Sadly though, there was no nudity.

This Isle Is Filled Of Asian's And Killing!

The Isle (2001) Rating: NR

So finally, my return to Asian cinema. After my last experience (Visitor Q), I was, to say the least, shaken up, and rather hesitant to watch this one. That being said, this was a pretty good flick about a dude who goes to a fishing resort ran by a woman (you know they have the little fishing huts scattered around). We soon find out that he is there not to fish, but to kill himself. But as time goes on, the guy and girl end up having a love/hate type of relationship. One moment they're fucking, the next moment they are yelling at each other. Oh yeah, there are moments of nudity. We also find out that because the area is so remote she kills various fishermen. I really enjoyed this one, and there was only one moment where I said WHAT THE FUCK, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? No, I won't say what it was that got that reaction, I'd rather you go see it and find out for yourself.

How About You...Think Of An Original Idea!!!

How About You (2007) Rating: NR

This is one of those light hearted, sappy movies that, dare I say, is geared toward "older" people. The story revolves around a young lady who comes to visit her sister who runs an old folks home. When the sister has to go away to deal with their mother, the visiting sister, ends up having to run the home during Christmas. But because it is Christmas only a half dozen of the residents are there. The "mean" "grumpy" residents. And of course over time, they all get to know one another and respect each other and blah blah blah. It was so sweet, I thought I was going to get diabetes. Not my cup of tea, and not something that hasn't been done a billion times before. For once, I would like to see a movie where the young person is totally mean to the old person, abuses them and then the old person ends up killing both the young person and then themselves. Ok maybe not, but at least it would throw people for a loop.

Whatever It Takes...To Get Through The First 3 Seasons Of Degrassi

Degrassi: The Next Generation Seasons 1-3 (2001-2003) Rating: Season 1: NR Season 2 & 3 TV PG-13

So, I had to do a marathon Degrassi viewing, because Netflix was supposed to be getting rid of seasons 2 & 3 (at the time of this writing they have yet to do so). I had seen this show on TV and between watching and hearing Kevin Smith talk about it, I decided to actually try a full season (it ended up as 3...and more than likely more to come when I'm not so Degrassied out). The show follows about half dozen Canadian high schoolers and all the "drama" that comes with being a teen. That being said, I must have lived a boring life. All the shit they get in there self into...talk about shitty parenting. I'm not talking bad about the show at all, it actually makes for an interesting watch. It was interesting to see the development of the characters from the first season, which played more like an After School Special, the most disturbing episode being one where Emma (played by Miriam McDonald) begins chatting to a guy on the internet, they decide to meet, and surprise surprise he is an older creepy guy, to the third season where it starts getting into more of its usual "90210" type style. Funny enough, as some of you may know, Shinae Grimes, who is now on 90210, got her start on Degrassi (in later seasons, but still). It tackles a lot of issues that are somewhat "taboo" from homosexuality in high school, to teen pregnancy and the like. I highly recommend it for parents to watch with their kids, or for single dudes like myself, who just like to watch teen dramas. That's not creepy...right?

This Boy Can Keep His Dog

A Boy And His Dog (1975) Rating: R

Well let me start off by saying, that I was promised lots of nudity and a colony FULL of women who wanted to have sex with Don Johnson. That being said...it failed on both accounts. There was maybe two scenes with nudity, and the colony...was actually a colony of both men and women and they don't want to have sex with him. They just want his sperm. What this piece of crap movie reminded me of was a cross between Mad Max & Benji...with Benji being the primary story. You remember Benji don't you? Little fuckin dog would go around getting into all kinds of crazy shenanigans? The only difference was in Benji there was no guns (that I remember), no end of the world type of scenarios....and no nudity....ok that part is similar. But when Don Johnson made it to the colony...it almost turned into a rip off of the Stepford Wives which funny enough, came out the same year. Apparently back in 1975 brainwashing was all the rage...yawn.

All Kira Needs Is Love

Kira's Reason: A Love Story (2001) Rating: NR

I had no idea what to expect from this Danish flick. I must say with the exception of the horrible edits throughout, this was actually a really good movie. It's about this woman who ends up having a nervous breakdown and ends up in a mental institution. Once she is released she comes back home to her husband and two kids. But as time goes on we find out she still isn't all there. And her world starts to crumble. As the movie goes on the explain what causes the breakdown (I won't give it away here), and what happened in her family while she was in the hospital. I was really surprised at how good this flick was. Totally recommend it.

Here Comes Revolution...If Aristide Gets His Way

Aristide And The Endless Revolution (2005) Rating: NR

I highly recommend everyone who has given to Haiti in the past few months after the earthquakes. It really opened up my eyes as to how shitty life in Haiti is...even before the earthquakes. That being said, it seems there is a lot of evidence that the U.S. isn't helping things. This film talks about Haiti's first and only elected president and the two times he has been ousted...and the help that the U.S. and other countries gave ousting Aristide. I'm not going to claim that I know all about the events surrounding all of this, but it seems as though the Haitian people...the people...love this man. It also talks about how during the first ousting, Bush Sr. was President of the U.S. The second time he was ousted...George Jr. Coinsidence? Watch this flick and decide for yourself!

This Movie Gave Me A Split Decision

Split Decision (2000) Rating: NR

A documentary about Mexican/American boxer Jesus "El Matador" Chavez and his deportment from the United States. I found this flick to be really interesting even though I knew nothing about Chavez. The filmmaker interviews Chavez, his family (who are still in the States...legally), trainers and U.S. marshals. We find out that the reason he was deported and hasn't been given clemency is because when he was 18 he held up a store. He is now the Mexican boxing champ, but because of his deportment, he can't come to the U.S. where the big fights are held (it's all about the $) and fight for the world championship. I'm not going to discuss my feelings about illegal aliens in the States, because well I don't want to take away from the flick and I think that each viewer should make up their own minds about if he should be allowed back or not. Over all though, I enjoyed this flick

The Edge Of Heaven's On Fire!

The Edge Of Heaven (2007) Rating: NR

This is a Turkish flick. Not something I would normally check out. This movie was actually really good...until the end. It starts off with an older man who asks a prostitute to live with him. For doing so, he would pay her the same as she would make at the brothel. She agrees and comes to live with him. Dude, has a son who comes to visit every once in awhile. Eventually, after she lives with him for a while, they end up fighting. He smacks her, and she falls, hitting her head and dying. Dude, gets thrown in prison. Dude's son, feels so bad after finding out that she has a daughter that so he uproots his whole life in Germany, moves to Istanbul, to try and find the daughter to help pay for her schooling. We then meet the daughter, and follow her while she does her hippie shit trying to "fight the man". Eventually she too is jailed for her activities, Oh and she's a lesbian. So her girlfriend and girlfriend's mom try to get her out. And all the while this is going on dude's son...you didn't forget about him did you?...is still trying to find the daughter. So then it just intertwines the three stories (the dude's son, daughter, and girlfriend/mom). Will she get out of prison? Will the dude's son ever find the daughter? If you're wondering check this flick out. I will tell you though....without giving anything away...you'll be disappointed by the end.

It's No Secret...This Movie Is A Bore

A Secret (2007) Rating: UR

This film is another foreign flick out of France. About a man who is learning about his family's history. He finds out he has a brother who died during the holocaust. Of course that sparks his interest even more, and eventually he uncovers all the "secrets" of his family and their past. I usually tend to enjoy WWII based movies, but this one really seemed to go nowhere. They build up and build up and build up the story only to drop the ball. Of course the majority of viewers are going to sympathize a bit for the brother, but after Schindler's List and countless other holocaust movies, this one just doesn't tug hard enough on the old heart strings. Plus they seemed to make a rather simple story much more complex than it needed to be. Overall I just didn't care for this movie much.

Beware Of The Alien Nation, Beware Of The Truth That They Seek!

Alien Nation (1988) Rating: R

This movie is not to be confused by the TV show based on this movie. Starring James Caan it's a movie about the world in "the future"...the future being the 90's...where aliens have landed on the earth and are living amongst us. For me this movie became too preachy, and was your typical 80's anti drug type of flick with its undertones. Caan is a police officer who is investigating the murder of his partner, who was killed by a "newcomer". Naturally he is then partnered by a newcomer to find out why his partner was murdered. We come to find out it is this big elaborate drug ring and his partner just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And of course Caan, ends up having a mutual respect for his new partner. Caan does give a great performance as the "I don't give a shit" type cop, but other than that the movie doesn't break any new ground, or isn't all that memorable.

Anyone for a Big Mac?

Fleetwood Mac: In Performance (2009) Rating: UR

I was reading about this DVD from the net. A "bootleg" 80 minute cut of their Mirage Tour VHS, this is a must see for REAL Fleetwood Mac fans. The reason I say this is because the sound quality is pretty bad, the transfer (since it is an unofficial release...on DVD) is not the greatest and anyone who wants to hear and see Fleetwood Mac at their "best" would be disappointed. That being said, if you're a real fan, you'll be amazed to see the band at their debauched finest. From the opening song, The Chain, we the viewer can see the tension between Nicks & Buckingham, almost shouting the line "IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME NOW...YOU WILL NEVER LOVE ME AGAIN" at each other. When either Stevie or Lindsey aren't performing they are rather quick to exit the stage (btw...I'm not gonna go over the history between the two here...if you don't already know then go read any basic history on the band). But along with that dynamic we also see the recently divorced John & Christine McVie trying to come to terms with their breakup...again causing for some great musical moments. And who can forget good ol' Mick...beating the holy hell out of his kit, making his odd faces...all the while having his "caretaker" pour x bottles of beer in his mouth....WHILE PLAYING!!!! Rock 'N' Roll the way it should be!!! There is also a "trimmed down" version of Tusk where we see Christine playing accordian, rather than the big brass marching band that usually accompanies this tune. But the ultimate in this collection is when Stevie performs the what is often referred as the "Speaking In Tongues" version of Sisters Of The Moon, where she is obviously high on coke, Sex, drugs, & Rock 'N' Roll!!!!

Romancing The Stone...More like Romancing The Crap

Romancing The Stone (1984) Rating: PG

Going into this one, I was expecting an Indiana Jones rip off, but instead I got a Indiana Jones meets chick flicks....sadly, the chick flick aspect of it over powered the Indiana Jones portion. The story is about a romance novelist who's sister ends up getting kidnapped for....well...I missed that...I have no fucking clue why she was kidnapped. Some how she came into possession of a map to a treasure. So while she's trying to rescue her sister she meets the Michael Douglas character and they are off to find this treasure and the sister, and of course, they end up falling madly in love with one another. And to be honest with you...it wasn't a treasure...it was one fuckin stone. I mean really...I get the whole thing about wanting to save your sister...but to go through all the Indiana Jones bullshit they go through for one fucking stone. Fuck that. Oh plus it stars what's her face, which I'm not a big fan of anyway. So bottom line, just go watch Indiana Jones...it's far superior without the lovey dovey bullshit.

The Winslow Stewie

The Winslow Boy (1999) Rating: G

I had no idea what this movie was about going into it, other than it was an English period flick. I had little hope for it. It centers around a kid who was studying in the Royal Naval College, but after an incident where he is accused of stealing, he is expelled. The father of the kid decides he has to clear the boy (and the family name) of this "injustice" since the kid is clearly innocent. I liked the concept, but it is terribly British. Really snooty douche bag type of characters. If it hadn't been for the kid saying "I say..." before every damn thing he says, I would say this film was a total bust. But because of that one phrase...he reminded me of Stewie from Family Guy and that made me happy :D

Hancock...I just said cock!

Hancock (2008) Rating: UR

I had little expectation, and little hope going into this flick. I stopped caring about Will Smith after The Fresh Prince, and Jason Bateman hasn't been cool since "Valerie"....or if you prefer "The Hogan's". Although it's never a problem to see Charlize Theron. Anyway, this is actually a pretty good flick. Centers around Smith who is a "super hero" with an attitude. He likes his drink, he has no problem swearing, basically my kinda guy. The problem though, is the fact that the public begins to turn on him. Bateman's character who is a PR guy decides he wants to help Hancock spruce up his image after Hancock saves his life. It's here that we find out that Charlize Theron is Bateman's wife...but with an interesting past. I won't give away any more. You'll have to see it if you are curious.....oh yeah....and if you're a fan of the TV show "The Middle"...it has the kid who plays Brick in it....and he says asshole. BONUS!!!

Come And Knock On Larry

Three's Company: The Third Season (1978) Rating: NR

So here we are again, knockin on that old familiar door. What can I say about this season that I didn't say previously? What is Three's Company missing that they haven't done before? What is the ultimate in physical comedy? You guessed it...pies in the face!!!!! This season contains a great episode where Jack enters his pie into a contest and when Chrissy ends up eating the pie...well...I don't want to give away too much...let's just say it ends up with every main cast member having a pie in their face. This is also the season where we see the Ropers off on their own adventures (well for a couple years a least...to make the short lived spin off "The Ropers). Like previous seasons we also have commentary on an episode or two with Chris Mann, author of "Come And Knock On Our Door: A Hers And Hers And His Guide To Three's Company". And for me, the icing on the cake were the interviews with Dave Powers (director of the show from season 3-8) and the ultimate Three's Company character (next to Jack of course)...Mr. Richard Kline (aka Larry Dallas). When asked about John Ritter, he became very teary eyed and said "I can't talk about John....other than thank God I knew him and thank God for TV". I thought that summed it all up nicely.

I Want That One!

Little Britain: The Complete First Series (2003) Rating: NR

Awhile back I happened to catch David Walliams on the Today Show. One of the stars of Little Britain, an English sketch comedy show. I saw clips of it and thought it looked pretty funny. Well, it is pretty damn funny. At first I was thinking it was like a combo between Monty Python & Mr. Bean, but as the series progresses, it really comes into its own. Being a handicapped individual, the funniest characters for me are Lou & Andy. Andy being a "handicapped" guy in a wheelchair, and Lou being his friend who helps Andy out doing every day things. Andy is always saying he wants something (ex: his room painted red) and when he gets it, he says I don't want it. As the series progresses, Andy's wants and needs increases and Lou's patience grows shorter and shorter. Another great gag in the same skit is when Lou will turn away from Andy and Andy will get out of his wheelchair and do some off the wall activity (jumping off a diving board for example). That is just one sample of a list of characters that are just as funny. Highly recommend this series!

Steve Martin Was A Spanish Prisoner

The Spanish Prisoner (1997) Rating: PG

A indie flick directed by David Mamet and starring Steve Martin and that one dude that is in a lot of soft core porn flicks...you know the guy. It also has William H. Macy's wife in it as well...you know her. That being said, I'm not a big fan of Steve Martin so I was a bit hesitant going into this flick. This is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. The porn guy is some sorta inventor guy and he invents this product that is going to make him and the company he works for a lot of money. But of course it all goes horribly wrong and the invention ends up getting stolen. This turns into a who done it where everyone is suspect. By the end of it my jaw was dropped and I couldn't believe how it ended. Great flick. Strongly recommend you all see it!

I Would Like To Light Her Bug

Lightning Bug (2004) Rating: NR

I liked this flick, up till the end. A story about a young man in a small southern town who has dreams of being a big time Hollywood makeup and special effects guy for horror films. It centers around his struggles to live in a community full of holy rollers and his obsession with horror films. Naturally because he likes such films that obviously makes him a devil worshipper. So when things go wrong in the town the blame is automatically put on him. It was a really good fun watch up till the Hollywood ending that you see coming a mile away. Oh and it has Laura Prepon , you know, Donna from That 70's Show. There is hints of side boob at one point where her and the dude are getting it on, but no actual nudity. I'm still waiting to see the flick where she gets naked. That will be a glorious day!!!!

Unsuccessfully Coping With...

An impromptu post, that for me, must be made. I know this blog is supposed to be about reviews but this post is not a review. Instead this is a post about the passing of one of the greatest metal singers of all time. Mr. Peter Steele of Type O Negative. I became aware of Type O back in 1993 when their album Bloody Kisses was released and they had the two hit singles Christian Woman, and Black No. 1. I was about 13 years old back then, and still new to the metal scene. Needless to say, the bass in Mr. Steele's voice stuck with me. Since 93 I have gone and purchased all their back category plus the albums that have came out since then. I had the pleasure of seeing the band back in roughly, 1999 on the World Coming Down tour with my dad who is also a fan (he hasn't heard the news yet). It was one of the funnest shows I have ever seen. At one point the bands power was blown out. So rather than standing there like a dick, Peter said something to the effect of "Oh well I need to piss any way" and promptly left the stage. Was this just for show? I don't know, but I want to believe that it was. It makes for a great memory. Type O also reminds me of a trip I took once to Phoenix. It was on that trip I managed to buy the Slow, Deep And Hard album. It was on this album (their first release) that I heard my all time favorite Type O song. A track by the name of "Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty Of Infidelity". To me that song shows the band at their "playful" best. Plus how can you go wrong with the line "I know you're fuckin someone else". But back to Phoenix...I was staying with a guy in a dingy hotel because his parents were douche bags and didn't want me staying with them (or was it that he was just a dick and wanted to stay in a hotel on my dime...sorry that's a rant for another time). So back to my story, here I was in this cheap dingy hotel, I pop in this album and somehow it all seemed to fit perfectly. The music, the surrounding, the company. Whenever I hear a song off that album, I'm automatically taken back to that time. I could go on for days about all the wonderful memories Type O has given me, but it's late, my heart is heavy and you probably don't want to hear much more. Let me just end with, Everything Dies. R.I.P. Peter Steele.

P.S. Kris did not edit this post, so if there is bad spelling, grammar, etc, it's my fault. I just needed to post this right now, while the thoughts and feelings are still fresh...and the music is rockin \m/

This Movie Was Over In A Lightspeed

Lightspeed (2006) Rating: NR

A lesser known Stan Lee creation, Lightspeed is a super hero with the ability to move at the speed of light, caused by a radiation accident started by his nemesis Python (which we find out they were friends prior to Python's accident in a lab that caused him to turn into a python type man). We then watch Lightspeed try to defeat Python and bring order to the world. It's not the greatest super hero flick, but it does have Nicole Eggert in it . The funny thing about it though, is the fact that she goes from being her trademark blond, to a light brown in between scenes. It's very distracted and almost ruins the film. Oh also, she doesn't get naked. I was hoping. But no such luck.

What He Should've Said, Wasn't As Funny As What He Did!

Mike Birbiglia: What I Should Have Said (2008) Rating: NR

One of my favorite comedians Mike Birbiglia put out this awesome routine a few years back. Being familiar with his stuff from the Bob & Tom Radio Show, I was excited to see what he would do. Well my friends, this is a great set. Talking about all sorts of subjects, this material is taken mostly from Birbiglia's "Secret Public Journal" blogs, and since I do subscribe to the Secret Public Journal...I was familiar with quite a bit of the skits he performed. But none the less, it was still hilarious. From the classic Pro Am golf tourney bit to the What I Should Have Said, bits, Birbigs does not disappoint. Plus as a bonus on the DVD, he goes back and does other bits from earlier on in his career, such as Wiffleball Tony. Ending the set with a great observation about Christian Rock....btw the song he comes up with....catchy as all hell if I may say so myself.

La Vie Promise To End Already!!!

La Vie Promise (2002) Rating: NR

Going into this film I was rather excited. The description was something along the line of being a movie about a prostitute who has a daughter who is in trouble with the law so they go on the run. Now, tell me that doesn't sound like a fantastic concept with a high possibility of nudity. Well...let me tell you...there was no nudity. Oh and guess what...about half way through, it became a chick flick type of film turning from a suspenseful "how are they going to get away" to "I need to reconnect with my past" Oprah bullshit. Oh and did I mention it's another French film? Yeah. I found myself looking at the clock many times during this film, just waiting for the end. And yes, I made it to the end. But I tell ya, that's 93 boobless minutes of my life I'm never getting back!!!!!

District B13...Isn't That A Vitamin?

District B13 (2004) Rating: R

A French film with subtitles (for us English guys too lazy to learn French) this film is about a city that is isolated from the rest of Paris, due to high crime, poverty, etc and how the government treats the citizens of this particular area. An action flick, that is like a cross between Die Hard & Fast And The Furious with shitty "house" music as a soundtrack. Now to be fair, I'm not a fan of house music, so a fan might enjoy the soundtrack. For me, it gave me a headache. But despite the shit music, this movie was actually a very intense, fun action packed popcorn flick. But at the same time, it did have a message aside from just being a fun watch. It throws a nice big middle finger at the "man". I don't want to give away too much, because then there would be no point in you, the reader, watching. But I will say, I found myself wondering how the main characters were going to be able to survive living in a society with no rules, regulations or morals...or if they will.

An Explanation

I've been having people ask, how do you choose your movies that you watch/review. Well, I do review everything I see, good or bad. As you may or may not know, I have Netflix. I have the at home stuff that is just random and basically a crap shoot, unless I'm really in the mood to see something (i.e. Three's Company). Then there is the Instant Queue stuff, which is where I see most of my stuff. Here's how I do that. Started off with me putting stuff from my at home queue into my instant queue. From there I added stuff that Netflix decided that I would "like". Sometimes, I don't think Netflix knows me at all. Once I reached the alotted 500 in my queue (that's right I had 500 in instant queue...as well as about 500 in my in home queue), I think started randomly watching movies. However it soon came to my attention that Netflix gets rid of certain movies from their instant queue on various dates. So once I realized that, I then made a list of those movies, catagorized them into dates (from the earliest "exit" date to latest), once I got that straightened out, I then catagorize it by run time (shortest to longest). It's a long tedious process, but as crazy as it might sound, it really is rewarding when all is said and done...for the month. Plus it allows me to see all sorts of varieties of movies. I can go from Steel Magnolias, to White Zombie and anything in between with this method. Oh, and I also watch movies that I purchase as well obviously, and again, I do take recommendations/suggestions. At time of this writing I've only had one. I blame you my readers...you are slackers. Step up to the challenge!!!! As I stated in the past, this blog is just as much for you as it is for me!

On a side note, I would like to take this time out to thank Kris for helping proof read my posts. I do my best to use the English language correctly and I'm totally against text speak or bad grammar. That being said, I am human and I do make mistakes. So it is nice to know I can send her my weekly reviews and she looks over them for any mistakes without complaint. This blog wouldn't be as awesome as it is without her help. Thank you.

I also want to thank Chris for his advice and feedback on the blog. Not to mention for helping to get my love of film to blossom. He is the type of guy that can give you a 20 minute bio on numerous actors throughout the history of film. I always give him a hard time about this, but in reality it has helped me out in lots of different ways. I mean he's the only person in the world that can tell me what that zombie flick with the naked chick in the cemetery is. Every time I come across an 80's zombie flick I always have to check with him to make sure it's not that movie (I've seen it over a half dozen times...and not on purpose). So thank you Chris for all that you do!

Ice Cold

The Iceman: Confessions Of A Mafia Hitman (1992) Rating: NR

WOW, this documentary is intense. Showing two different interviews with mafia hitman Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski filmed a decade apart. It lets the viewer into the mind of what appears to be an unremorseful killer. I have seen a lot of documentary's similar to this one (Gotti, Sammy The Bull etc.) but none of them have shaken me up like this one. He recounts various killings he did throughout his "career" and how the "one man I didn't kill" ended up being the one man who put him away. He says that the only thing he regrets is letting one of his victims pray for half hour, before he finally killed the victim. Really rough stuff to sit through if you have a weak stomach. It also interviews his wife who talks about how she knew nothing of what he did. Overall this is a really good watch. Highly recommend it!

Hey! Ho!...Did He Just Call Me A Ho?

Ramones: Raw (2004) Rating: NR

This is a great film. Basically a bunch of home movie type footage throughout the years of the band (mainly from later years though...which makes the early shots that much better). Sprinkled throughout the footage are various rare performances, TV shows and commercial spots. The film itself is about 2 hours long and really worth the view if you're a Ramones fan. Not to mention that it also doesn't shy away from the period where Dee Dee left the band AND his rap career. The best documentary on the Ramones I've seen to date.

White or Black...Does It Matter What Color The Zombie Is?

White Zombie (1932) Rating: NR

The movie that inspired the band of the same name. This 1932 film starring Bela Lugosi is very similar to the other horror classic film he starred in called Dracula....but with zombies. Mind control was a big thing back then. But because of this, a lot of times I was questioning if I had seen it already. Anyway, from a historical stand point it's a great watch. But to me it doesn't break any new ground (even for its time). Your typical 1930's horror film. So if you're a big fan of those type of films yes check it out, but if you're interested in a good zombie flick that isn't campy, stay away.

Managing Sleep

Management (2008) Rating: R

So this is a chick flick at its finest. Ok not really. I checked this flick out on one boring Saturday afternoon when there was nothing better to do. The reason why I gave it any time was because it had Jennifer Aniston in it. Your typical flick about boy meets girl in a hotel, boy loses girl, boy goes across country to find girl. There are two redeeming qualities to this film though. The close up shot of Aniston's ass, and the fact that part of it is supposed to take place in a town by the name of Aberdeen, Washington. If you were alive in the 90's then you probably already know that the spokesperson of that era was born in that very same town. If you're scratching your head wondering who that might be....the towns motto has now become "Come As You Are..."

Is That A Cock In My Beer?

Small Town Gay Bar (2006) Rating: NR

As you know by now, I'm a fan of the View Askewniverse. I became aware of this movie, through Kevin Smith & the director, Malcolm Ingram, himself. A documentary about a small town in the bible belt of America and the gay bars in it. While watching the film, I was in a way hoping for more of the "crazy" religious nuts that you typically see in this type of flick. There are a couple of them, but not as many as in some other documentaries similar to this one. I started wondering why, and then it hit me, Ingram isn't trying to bring attention to the injustices that the homosexual faces, he is merely showing the die hard spirit that the gay community has and how regardless of threats, shootings, etc. they will continue to keep their spirits up. In other words "they're here, they're queer...", I'm used to it. But seriously this film was well done, but part of me also wishes that we could've heard from Ingram himself and why he chose to pick the particular bars he did and the like.

How Do You Say 8 1/2 In Italian?

8 1/2 (1963) Rating: NR

So a lot of people call this Fellini's "classic" biographical film. It was pretty damn good. A movie about a director who is under pressure to make his next film all the while dealing with his wife and mistress. Like any other Fellini flick this is filled with over the top surreal scenes. The end really had me thinking and contemplating what he was trying to say. I won't give my interpretation, because to me that'll ruin it for anyone else who wants to see it. It's an ending that I feel everyone will interpret their own way. An excellent flick!

Accused Of Being Overrated

The Accused (1988) Rating: R

So Kris asked me to watch this flick and give a review from a man's point of view. So here goes. First off, I'm no fan of rape. So what happened to Foster in this flick sucked. This film centers around Foster's character who was gang raped, and Kelly McGillis plays her lawyer who drops the ball (yes I said it) in the case, so to make up for it she tries to prosecute those who witness the attack. That being said, this film really didn't leave much of an impression on me. They portrayed the rape victim as a somewhat tough chick who says poor me and all that but to me because of that I had a hard time feeling really sorry for her. Not that I'm saying she deserved it or anything of that nature, just saying the character wasn't very sympathetic. The one thing I did find brilliant about it all though is the fact that they don't show the actual attack till almost the end of the film as to build suspense. If I was in the jury though, I don't know that I would be able to convict. I mean really the most compelling "evidence" presented in the film was to show the attack. If you're in the court you don't actually get that visual. Obviously I don't know what facts were presented in the actual case so it might be different. But overall as a movie it was ok. Not something I'll watch again or something that'll really stick in my mind. I guess I'm just too desensitized with violence. Damn you Grand Theft Auto!!!!

I think I Have Crabs

Deadliest Catch: Season 1 (2005) Rating: NR

So I had seen various episodes of this show on syndication. I hadn't watched close enough to say if I had liked it or not, but thought I would give it a shot. Who knew that a reality type show about Alaskan crab fishermen could be so damn entertaining? All the captains of the various boats in this show are likeable (my personal fav. is Sig). This season is filled with tragedy, joy and crabs. There were times where I would watch one episode just to kill some time, and then I would have to watch the next one just to see what would happen! After seeing this first season I can say that Alaskan crab fishermen are some crazy fuckers. I recommend this series to almost anyone. Of course there are going to be some who don't enjoy it...we'll call those people hippies.

Test

Oh No There Goes Tokyo...

Godzilla (1998) Rating PG-13

Whatever happened to Farris Bueller and the red headed chick on News Radio? They met up and made this crap. Now in all fairness the CGI in this is rather good and believeable. But, man this movie drags. It got to the point where I started thinking, the only reason this movie is still going on is because the director wanted to blow up every iconic building in NYC. From MSG to the Brooklyn Bridge, it was blown up. In that sense, it was pretty cool. However the story just wasn't. Anyone who has been alive for the past 50 years should know the story of Godzilla. Nothing new there. The best parts of the movie were when Godzilla would be chasing various people. And eventually the baby Godzillas who terrorized MSG. This movie is also filled with horrible cliche-type one-liners. It's a fun movie, but not one I will watch again. Perhaps if they took out the talking I would.

Shanghai Godfather

Shanghai Triad (1995) Rating: R

So this is another foreign flick with subtitles. If you don't know, I have no problem with that. On paper this movie sounded really cool. A dude is hired to watch over the mob boss's mistress and they end up in a sorta gang war. However in reality it ends up being more about the emotions of the mistress than the actual "war". But even those feelings are barely touched upon. She says a few things about how she always wanted to be somebody and that sorta thing, but for me, I didn't have enough sympathy towards her to care if she made it out alive or not. I did like the guy who played the character of the boss. But he is not what we in America expect from a "boss". In other words he's no Brando.

Starship Snorefest

Starship Troopers (1997) Rating: R

So, this movie tried to be Full Metal Jacket in outer space. It had the length part down (129 minutes), it had nudity. But it failed in the emotion part. Where in Full Metal Jacket you became attached to the various characters, this one, I wanted to see them all dead by the end of it. Although that didn't fully happen, some did, and some got topless (there was even male back nudity for the ladies). But about midway through this one, I was checking the time wondering how much more I had to sit through. Even with the nudity, the movie couldn't be saved. If you're into space/bug war movies you might enjoy it, but they don't do anything that hasn't been done before in the special effects department. Another skip for me.

Bye Bye Birdie...And Don't Come Back!!!!

Bye Bye Birdie (1963) Rating: G

So this movie sucked balls. Another musical movie. I mean really...who sings that much? Every 5 fuckin' minutes and they're singing again. This movie is like all other musicals...you take the singing and dancing out you have half hour, at best, of story. This particular one centers around an Elvis/Gene Vincent type of character who is coming into any town U.S.A. and meeting (and kissing) a young lady who was picked by his managers. AND it is all going to be taped for that card carrying Commie bastard Ed Sullivan's show (sorry...Ed Sullivan has rubbed me raw ever since I heard about his actions towards The Doors). And like Steel Magnolias, since it takes place in a smaller community everyone in the town wants their 5 minute fucking song to sing, and their dance. So in conclusion...this movie sucked balls.

Steel Magnolias Is Nothing Like British Steel

Steel Magnolias (1989) Rating: PG

So, I've heard various things about this movie for years. Mainly that it was a chick flick. But hey, I'm a dude who's secure with his sexuality. The movie was actually pretty funny through out. One thing I didn't understand was the fact that it was supposed to take place in the 80's yet the characters looked as though they came out of the 50's (A southern thing perhaps?). I was also pleasantly surprised to see one of my favorite character actors Tom Skerritt. His character is hilarious, from shooting birds out of the trees at the beginning to pissing off Shirley MacLaine's character through out the film. This film centers around a beauty salon run by Dolly Parton (well her character) and the patrons in a small town down south. It shows, how in a town like that they all come together in times of happiness and sadness alike. Although I enjoyed the film for the most part, I thought it dragged towards the end. I mean come on...damn thing is 118 minutes. Does it really need to be that long? That was really my only complaint about the film. Even if it was a chick flick.

I Fear This Wasn't Primal Enough...

Primal Fear (1996) Rating: R

Ok, so I had some hesitation about this one. It does star Richard Gere after all. I mean what has he done that was good since An Officer And A Gentlemen? I didn't take into consideration that it also had Ed Norton Jr., Frances McDormand & Maura Tierney (eye candy) in it. But really Gere is pretty damn good in this role. He plays a defense lawyer who signs on pro bono to defend Norton's character who is seen running from the local Catholic Priests place after he is murdered. Ah but Norton is a bit slow in the head, and there are a lot of politics going on in this case. Most of the community automatically assume he is guilty of the murder, but will the Denny Crane-esque Gere get him off? This flick has you guessing all the way till the ending. And then at the end you say to yourself "son of a bitch". Why? Well you'll just have to watch yourself won't you?

Another Boring Nazi Movie

Loose Cannons (1990) Rating: R

Ok, so I almost didn't bother reviewing this, to be honest with you all, but after a couple of people said that I should just tear into it, I decided I would. Going into it I was thinking, it won't be all that bad...it does, after all, have Dan Aykroyd, Gene Hackman, & Dom Deluise in it. How can it be bad? Here's how. It's produced by Chevy Chase. I'm going to admit it right here and now, I don't like Chevy Chase. He's never made me laugh except for the National Lampoon Vacation stuff. But I digest...This film centers on a "porn" film that was supposed to feature some guy by the name of Hitler. Dom Delouise ends up in possession with it, and a group of Neo Nazi's end up chasing him around for it. Hackman & Aykroyd are detectives who are protecting him after some murders take place due to this film. The only redeeming thing about this film is the fact that Aykroyd's character has a split personality and channels the likes of Tweety Bird, Captain Kirk & Pee Wee Herman to name a few. But honestly I barely made it through. The only reason I watched it was because I don't want to be one of those douche bag reviewers who either refuse to watch a movie because they don't like that type of movie, or review it without actually watching the whole thing. So take my advice...go see The Jacket instead.

Yo Robin...We Did It!!!

Tyson (2008) Rating: R

This is a documentary on Ex Heavyweight Boxing Champ Mike Tyson. It was an interesting watch, but since one of the producers was Tyson himself, it almost came across as though the questions/things talked about, were approved by him. Sure they touch on his relationship with Robin Givens, and later on the rape trial and conviction. But the problem I had with it all is that it was only his take on things. The director never takes the time out to talk with anyone else involved. So even though it was fascinating, and had clips of some of his best (and not so) matches, it was a very one sided documentary. I was also a bit annoyed at the fact that he would admit to "messing" up in certain situations...but then giving an excuse. I would've much rather seen him admitting his mistake and leaving it at that. No excuses, "I fucked up" sorta thing.

Where's My Jacket?

The Jacket (2005) Rating: R

Going into this movie, I had no idea what to expect. From what I could tell it was a low budget movie with Adrien Brody & Keira Knightley starring. Already two strikes against it. The one thing this movie had going for it (on the surface) was the fact that it also had Jennifer Jason Leigh and Kris Kristofferson. So once again we're even. It ended up being a really good movie. One of the best I've seen in quite some time! A movie about a vet of Desert Storm who ends up getting shot and "killed". Ok so they bring him back to life. However he does suffer from bouts of amnesia after the war. That becomes a HUGE problem when he is accused of killing a state trooper in Wisconsin or where ever the hell it takes place (isn't really relevant any way). After the trial he is found guilty by reason of insanity. He is sentenced to a insane asylum where Kris Kristofferson becomes one of two doctors try to help him. But Kristofferson's method of curing him is by putting him in one of those holding places where they put corpses in morgues...you know those things. It is during these "sessions" that he pieces together what has happened and what will happen. I've always liked those type of movies where you have no idea what is happening till the end. I strongly recommend this film!

LA Woman

Californication: Season 1 (2007)

I'm not a big fan of the X-Files, so when I started watching this show, I was a bit hesitant. How can straight laced Mulder (or was it Scully) be any good? Well, within 2 minutes of the first episode he proved me wrong. Picture this...the Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want" playing while a nun gives him a blow job. Before I scare away everyone, let me get into the plot of the show. It's a show about a best selling author struggling with writers block, sex addiction, alcohol addiction & drug addiction (to an extent). Oh and he's also struggling with his relationship with his baby mama and his daughter. I won't go into it too much so that there will be a reason for you to watch, but on the whole it is a really good watch. My only complaints is that the daughter...someone needs to tell her she can't sing. I cringe every time she butchers another rock 'n' roll classic. Yes I know she is only 13...but that don't make it right!!!!! And on a similar note (kinda sorta spoiler alert) who the fuck sings Alice Cooper's "Only Women Bleed" at a wedding? "Hey here's an idea, on our wedding day let's have this kid sing a song about abuse against women". REALLY?

A Movie For Wednesday

Humpday (2009) Rating: R

So, by the title of this film, I figured it was going to be one of those types with a lot of nudity and well, basically a popcorn film. I was mistaken. There was very little nudity and it really was a thought provoking film. The premise of this movie is about two friends who (both straight) decide to make a gay porn for an "artsy" porn film festival. Oh and did I mention that one of the guys is a newlywed? So throughout the movie you wonder will they go through with it? Then you start to think, would that be something I could do? Ok...maybe not everyone will think that....just those of us who are comfortable enough with our sexuality. I ended up really liking this movie a lot more than I thought I would. I highly recommend it if potential homosexuality doesn't bother you.

#37 Strikes Back

Cop Out (2010) Rating: R

Being a huge fan of Kevin Smith, I was curious to see the progression from Zack & Miri Make A Porno to this. With Zack, it was the first film of his that had me saying "wow" that looks like a "real" film. So when I heard he was doing Cop Out, a film he didn't write, I was worried he would take the same route many directors take when they are given a big budget to direct a film that isn't written by them and totally screw it up and lose their style at the same time. Well rest assured, the progression from Zack to Cop Out is great. Although the language is on the "tame" side for a Smith flick, there is still enough f bombs and dick and fart jokes to please the die hard Kevin Smith fan, but not enough to disgust the Bruce Willis fan. A movie following the typical buddy movie, I will admit that it doesn't break any new ground. It was however a great popcorn flick. Willis & Morgan played off each other perfectly and you really believed that they were partners for 9 years (as the story says). One of the funniest bits was when Tracy Morgan is interrogating a guy using homage's (pronounced hom-aj) to various films. One of the films he quotes he says "Yippee Kayee Motherfucker". At that point the camera turns to Bruce Willis who says "I never seen that one". Now...if you've been living under a rock for the past 20 years, that is an obvious "homage" to a certain cop franchise by the name of Die Hard...starring none other than a Mr. Bruce Willis. .

Thia story revolves around a baseball card owned by Willis that he is trying to sell to pay for his daughter's wedding which is stolen by Sean William Scott's character and sold for drugs. (To me his character, although funny, is the weakest link of the cast) . The Willis/Morgan duo spend the rest of the flick trying to find the dealer that has the card. Morgan's over the top comedy along with Willis' straight laced ways makes for the best buddy/cop duo since Gibson & Glover (yeah I said it). Yes I'm sure that is probably a Cop Out comparison (sorry had to do it), but you tell me of a better duo since then.

All through the film there are various references to other movies, included by the writers but obviously enjoyed by Kevin as the director. I don't know for sure but there was one scene where a young boy is caught driving a car and pulled over by our two heroes. Just watch this scene and let me know if you think this is another homage, this time to George Romero's Dawn of the Dead

I also found that the music selected for the film was pretty awesome. Some of you might not think so (there is a lot of rap in it), but it was the type of rap I like (Beastie Boys & Run D.M.C. to name a couple). But don't fear metal heads...it also has Poison's "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" in it....ok...I hope I didn't just scare anyone away.

One issue I had with the film was at some points the edits were a bit off. Like most Kevin Smith films there were single camera shots, and the edits between the characters speaking seemed a bit TVish. A bit like watching a Law & Order episode. At times it had that feeling. That being said, it doesn't ruin the movie. It's just a personal thing for me that I'm sure most people won't even notice. But on a whole, this flick gets two dicks way up from me!!!!

Smells Like Interviews

Nirvana: Teen Spirit: Interviews (2007) Rating: NR

So I found out that Kurt Cobain's 43rd birthday was happening, so to celebrate I figured I'd check this DVD out. The first half was the MTV special that was aired just after Kurt's death that I think most of my generation has already seen with various MTV interviews with the band. After that there is a mini documentary/interviews with the band and other folks who were close to the band (Steve Albini for example) from the U.K. What kinda bothered me about this (and every Nirvana documentary for that matter) is that they never talk to Chad Channing or Jason Everman. Over all though it was a good watch, but not a whole lot of new material. The only parts that really got me excited were towards the end there was a 20 minute interview with the band in some (I'm assuming) club, taken by a camcorder. The problem with that is that the background noise makes it hard to concentrate on what they are saying, plus the two guys who were operating the camera, were obviously, inexperienced with the camera and the damn thing kept going out of focus. This documentary ends with a chat between the band members taken by Chris during a flight. That was cool because it really showed Kurt's sense of humor and his playful side.

I Got Your Love Right Here...

Show Me Love (1998) Rating: NR

Another foreign flick this is a movie dealing with a young girl coming to terms with her homosexuality. Now before you get all excited, these chicks are too young to be naked so keep it in your pants. Maybe it's because I'm a guy, in my 30's, but this movie came across to me as a cross between an Afternoon Special and Degrassi (you know...that awesome Canadian show that is like a cross between 90210 and Saved By The Bell). It touches on a "controversial" subject, but not a whole lot goes on in it. I'm not taking away from the plight of the lesbian, I respect all that. I'm just looking at this from a movie stand point. So I guess if you're a younger lesbian (or know a younger lesbian) you might want to check this film out (again there is reading though).

Royalty???

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) Rating: R

So after nine years, I finally got around to seeing this film. I heard a lot of good things about it from people, but it always seemed to be those quirky types of people. I thought the movie was ok, but nothing all that special. I was expecting a lot more from such a great cast. But then again there is Ben Stiller in it (ugh). It's a movie about a family of rich geniuses who split apart...but years later when they find out the father is dying, they all come together and in a way work through their problems. It has its moments that made me chuckle, but not really my type of movie. If you're into the quirky dry type of humor I'd say this movie is for you, otherwise only watch it if there is nothing else on.

The Germans Are Coming...The Germans Are Coming!

Sophie Scholl: The Final Days (2005) Rating: NR

A movie about The White Rose and Sophie Scholl during the reign of the Nazis in Germany. This movie is in German, so be prepared to either learn German or do some reading (I found it easier to just read the subtitles personally). I thought it was a really good film, with some really good acting. There were a lot of times where I found myself holding my breath thinking "how are they going to get out of this". If you are familiar with the White Rose, (an anti-Nazi student intellectual group), you'll know what happens, but I wasn't. I'll just say my jaw dropped when I saw the ending. I also thought the guy who plays the Gestapo member who interrogates Sophie plays the character really well. There are moments where it seems as though he is implying that if she would just say certain things she would be set free. Almost like a moment of compassion. Very good movie all around.

Eddie The Superhero

Eddie Izzard: Live From Wembley

I've seen all of Eddie Izzard's stand up DVD's as well as Believe (which I blogged about earlier) and 2 seasons of The Riches. So I would say that I'm a pretty big fan of Izzard's and I'm (obviously) familiar with his style of comedy. That being said, I felt that this was the weakest of his stand up DVD's. The show came across as way too polished and somewhat dumbed down. The usual ramblings of Izzard from previous shows were gone. He knew where he was in the routine and never once did his usual "what was I talking about". In the show there was no impressions (bad or otherwise) like in the past (however if you watch the bonus features there is a show from earlier in the tour where he does his James Mason & Sean Connery). It was the first time that I've felt some what gypped by Eddie Izzard. Luckily we have his past stuff to watch and smile at.

It's A Great Day For Some Pie

American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007) Rating: UR

Watching this movie I realized how old I'm getting. I remember being the guy just out of high school loving this type of movie. You know the type, shallow plot and lots of nudity. Well watching this movie today, I realized that it's just not for me any more. I'm not saying I don't enjoy nudity in my movies...but I prefer the nudity to have a purpose. The plot is your basic "frat house" plot...one frat trying to get rid of the other. Seen it a billion times. The only thing that was some what amusing about this one was the movie references that they throw in (i.e. a take on the Russian roulette scene in Deer Hunter...although not as horrific in this movie). I remember back in my day when the American Pie flicks used to be funny and original.

I'll Arrest Myself, I'll Wear A Shield

The Shield Around K: The Story Of K Records (1998) Rating: NR

A documentary on the "other" Washington State record label (the other being Sub Pop of course). I was a bit disappointed in this one in that it came across as more of a vehicle to promote Calvin Johnson (co-founder of K Records)'s Beat Happening band than an actual history of K Records. The highlights for me were the interview with Ian MacKaye of Fugazi fame and a brief clip of L7 from a K Fest gig. Imagine if Nirvana had signed to this label as Kurt Cobain had wanted. I wonder if history would be the same.

Live Fast, Die Young

James Dean: The TV Years (1954) Rating: NR

Being a fan of James Dean's movies, I was curious to see the "TV Years". About an hour long and two different TV shows Dean did "The Bells Of Cockaigne" and "I Am A Fool". The first story is about a guy (Dean) who needs money to move him, his wife and sick child to a warmer climate. Not much substance, but to see Dean it's always good. I won't give away more because well if I do, then you'll have no reason to search it out. The second episode is interesting in that it is "presented" by some guy named Ronald Reagan and the leading lady in the episode is James Dean's costar in Rebel Without A Cause...Ms. Natalie Wood. The story centers on a working class guy who impersonates a rich guy and meets a socialite and falls in love. Will he reveal to her who he really is before she has to get on the train and go back home? Who cares, it's James Dean.

Let Me Hear That Rock 'N' Roll Music

Time/Life The History Of Rock 'N' Roll (2004) Rating: NR

So I was really excited about this. A 5 disc set on the "history" of rock 'n' roll. How can you go wrong? Here's how...you have the people of Time/Life produce it. The first disc where they talk about Buddy Holly, Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis etc. is really good. Good interviews with Little Richard & Carl Perkins to name a few of the people. So watching that I was excited to see what else they had in store. From there on, it went downhill. There was no continuity in any of the other discs, the bands they focused on for the most part were the cliched boring ones that I guess you'd expect to be on there. But here's the part that really turned me off. The only mention of 80's metal was Van Halen and GN'R. Apparently, according to the director or Time/Life, the 80's metal thing never happened. And then when they briefly touched upon the grunge thing they clumped it in with punk and made it sound like the only good bands to come out of that era was Nirvana (naturally) and Green Day. GREEN DAY? Really? As I always say, they were good...back when they were called The Ramones. If all that isn't already making you sick to your stomach....here's the worst part. So no 80's metal...but why not throw in almost a full disc on...wait for it...wait for it...RAP!!!!! Now the bands they discussed were bands I like, and bands I have no problem with (Run D.M.C. Public Enemy & N.W.A.), but to say it is Rock 'N' Roll? I want to know where was I when they decided to call rap "rock 'n' roll" Should I be blaming Limp Bizkit? Now the whole Run D.M.C. thing with Aerosmith...ok fine, call that rock if you want. But to see a documentary on the history of rock 'n' roll and have no mention of metal...and a full disc devoted to rap. I could rant about it all day, but I won't. You're welcome.

L.A. Woman

The Black Dahlia (2006) Rating: R

Ok, so anyone who knows me personally knows that I'm obsessed with the minds of killers. It's like a train wreck where you look and can't turn away and you're saying "What the fuck"? So when I put this one I was rather excited, since I didn't know much about the Black Dalhia murder. Well after 121 minutes of this movie I can now say...I don't know much about the Black Dahlia Murder. The plot of this movie (for the most part) is fictional, and hardly even touched Black Dahlia. What it was really was a detective flick about two detectives caught in a love triangle of sorts (with bits and pieces of the Black Dahlia Murder thrown in here and there...but nothing that people don't already know). There were too many characters thrown in and throughout most of it I was scratching my head going who are these people and why do I care? There was some nudity in it, but not enough to save the film. Now THIS...is a subject Joel Peter Witkin should do a movie on. Imagine that? Awesome.

Let Them Eat Cake!

The Cake Eaters (2007) Rating: R

So I got this movie because I thought it was directed by the chick from DePalma's Scarface...not Michelle Pfieffer, but the other chick (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio). Well it's not...it was directed by the chick from Benny & Joon (Mary Stuart Masterson). This film bothered me a lot. Basically all it was was A Walk To Remember without the sadness (I liked A Walk To Remember...it holds a dear place in my heart...but that's possibly a blog for another time). A story about a chick with "some kinda palsy" (to quote Peter Griffin) which she is dying from. So she meets this dude, and decides she wants to get laid before she dies. Now, sure that sounds like an AWESOME idea on paper. But when you add the other "family" crap in and the lovey dovey shit and no nudity what's the point? I want to see a movie where you have someone "deformed" or ill or all the above, nude and fucking. Is that too much for a guy to ask? Joel Peter Witkin needs to make movies...'sall I'm sayin. By the end of this film I was saying ok at what point does Freddie Krueger or some such person come out and kill all these people because I want them all dead. Sadly...NO ONE died in the whole movie. Crap movie all around. Not to mention the chick from Scarface had nothing to do with this movie.

Paper Or Plastic?

Cashback (2006) Rating: R

This was just a random type of movie I put on my Netflix queue that I decided to watch on a boring weekend day. I had no preconceptions as to what this movie would be about and I was pleasantly surprised with this one. A movie about a guy who had just broken up with his girlfriend. While he was dealing with the pain of the breakup he realizes he can "freeze time"...I could never understand if he actually freezes time or if it was just his imagination since dude ends up not sleeping for a few weeks. Being an artist he ends up painting the various women he sees while the time is frozen (usually in various states of undress.) He eventually meets another woman in the supermarket he is working at (oh did I mention it's an English flick?). The rest of the film deals with the shenanigans they get into while working at the supermarket and other such stuff which I won't get into because I don't want to give away the full plot. I will say I was a bit disappointed with the ending. I watched and thought, well I watched this entire movie and it ends like that? Luckily there was nudity to keep me from hating it. Did I mention nudity? Basically what I'm trying to say is that it was a good movie, but the best part of it really was the nudity. A movie I'm glad I seen, but I don't see myself ever returning to it.

I can't have a Cuban because of JFK

Thirteen Days (2000) Rating: PG-13

Going into this film, I never seen the big deal about JFK. Sure the man did good for race tensions, and the space program, but being white and disabled, none of that stuff effects me much. This movie alone changed my views on him. This film takes place during the thirteen days known in American history as The Cuban Missle Crisis. You know...the time period where we almost got blown to shit by the Russians. The film shows what Kennedy and his staff did to stop a possible nuclear war between Russia and the U.S. It reminded me why I should never been president. Where Kennedy was saying let's wait things out and see what happens, I naturally was thinking "blow those Commie bastards to hell". I will say that it is a 2 hour flick, very intense, and a lot of people to keep track of. So if you're looking for a laid back fun movie...this is NOT it. Be prepared for an intense tactical history lesson and a look into how cool headed JFK was. Now if only he had used the same cool headed tactics in Dallas and actually used a closed limo like was advised...history may have been a bit different...not saying...just saying.

Why would he bear arms?

Pineapple Express (2008) Rating: R

Well, I'm one of those types that try to stay away from "trendy" type of films because 9 out of 10 times I end up being really disappointed with the film and society for liking such shit. Well...this one was the one film that I actually agree with society on. It was a fun movie, with a great car chase (I know a couple of my readers are into that sorta thing), funny jokes and an interesting commentary on society. If you take it for face value, it's a "druggie" movie. But if you actually take the time to listen to what they're saying, in a sense it is neither pro nor anti drug. It really comments more on how drugs (especially marijuana) are different things to different people. What I liked about this film is that the jokes aren't your typical stoner jokes that only stoners would get. They are jokes that anyone who went to school (or were around stoners) in the past 20 or 30 years would understand. Plus they were intelligent jokes. That is something that has been lacking in "stoner" movies since Half Baked (not that that was a bad film...it was just very cliched). They also make a very funny (but short) commentary on the U.S.'s Right To Bare Arms. In the scene the character played by Seth Rogen is supposed to be having dinner with his girlfriend, but do to certain plot developments (which I won't give away), they are unable. The father, played really well, by Ed Bagley Jr., starts yelling about how Seth's carachter better get out of his house or he'll go get his shot gun. In all of the cofusion going on, Seth yells "Why woud he bear arms?". To me, an obvious middle finger to the gun toting Americans (which not to be rude...was probably lost on most of them). For some reason that bit struck me as really funny. To me the only weak link of the film was Rosie Perez, but that's more of a personal thing than anything. I've never been a fan. But over all it was a surprisingly good film.

Wanna Go To The Mall?

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) Rating: PG

Ok, I'll admit, the only reason I watched this film is because it stars Kevin James. I loved him on King Of Queens so I figured if nothing else it was a good way to go to bed. Well, it was actually a pretty funny flick. I found myself laughing all through this movie and was surprised to find that it was more than just a silly little popcorn movie that Adam Sandler seems to be doing now...you know the ones...the ones where you sit down to watch and you ask...what happened Adam...you used to be funny. Sorry...didn't mean to turn this into a Adam Sandler bashing blog. Where was I, oh yes, this had a really good story to it, plus (SPOILER ALERT) the overweight dorky guy gets the chick...I'm a sucker for those type of flicks...don't know why. Plus it has one of the best soundtracks I've heard in some time...plus the best use of Detroit Rock City I've seen since that one movie about the dudes with the knights and the kid...you know the one I'm talking about don't you? Ok this post doesn't do Paul Blart justice...it's just me ranting about God knows what and for that I apologize. It really is a pretty funny film though. Check it out...you might be surprised.

Forget It Jake...It's Chinatown

Roman Polanski: Wanted And Desired (2008) Rating: NR

So with this one, I'm going to review the movie. I'm going to do my best to keep my personal feelings of Polanski out of it and let you, the potential viewer decide for yourself. This documentary is about the life of Roman Polanski, the famed director, widow of Sharon Tate & center of the controversial case where he was accused of raping a 13 year old girl. This documentary came across to me as a very fair, unbiased look into the rise and fall of Polanski and the thoughts, feelings etc. of those involved. It doesn't raise him up to be a hero, but at the same time it doesn't push him down into the pits of hell. It let's the viewer decide for themself. I know at times I personally was thinking "the man is scum" and then a few minutes later thinking "oh poor guy". This went on throughout the film for me. The only thing that was a bit disappointing for me is that it was released prior to him being recaptured. I would've liked to hear the thoughts of the key players on that. It was a good watch and really makes the viewer think.

So have you heard the one about the handicapped guy?

Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project (2007) Rating: NR

So like most people I'm aware of Don Rickles. He's the old guy who makes obscene jokes. You know...the kinda shit that makes me laugh and proud to be an American. So when I heard that this film was coming out I was curious to see it. Especially since there was so much praise for it etc. Well...the parts where they show him doing his stand up...is hilarious. The interviews, although at times were funny, to me came across as real dry and almost boring. Not Mr. warmth's fault I assure you. When he spoke he keeps the viewer entertained and laughing. It's the other interviews (from such folks as Clint Eastwood & Bob Newhart to name a couple) that had my mind wandering at times. I don't see what all the fuss over this movie was about. It came across as others trying to latch onto Rickles name...yes even Eastwood & Newhart. So if you're a fan of Don Rickles, sure check it out for him. But don't expect any amazing tidbits on him or any "cool" behind the scenes gossip. I guess I just prefer the documentary's where the subject(s) are either constantly O.D.'ing or fucking. From what I could gather he does neither (or at least he doesn't make it public).

Chain Keep Us Together

Fleetwood Mac: Unbroken Chain (2004) Rating: Not Rated

I've been a Fleetwood Mac fan for almost 15 years now (half my life) and being as "young" as I am I didn't know much about the early years of the band known as Fleetwood Mac. Sure I knew the name Peter Green, I knew the music and I knew they started out as a blues band. But other than that not much. I gathered up as much info on the band as I could via the internet, friends etc. But there was still so many questions. Then I came across this 48 minute documentary. It really surprised me to find out that they spent almost half of the documentary talking about the pre Nicks/Buckingham era. Not that I don't love Stevie & Lindsey. This documentary (although not approved by the band...from what I can tell) really gives out a lot of info from the beginnings of the band and how it was named after Mick Fleetwood and the second (yes I said second) bassist John McVie, as well as the breakdown of their original guitarist and "leader" Peter Green. And the various members that joined from that point till the "classic" lineup that everyone knows came to be. The only problem I had with this documentary was the fact that it skimmed over the time period where Lindsey left the band and then Stevie close by. It does mention that they reunited for the Dance Tour...and shows a brief glimpse of the Say You Will album, but no mention whatsoever about the Behind The Mask or the Time albums or the musicians who played on them. But for a 48 minute documentary it was surprisingly really good. Perhaps someone could recommend a better documentary on the band that covers the years missing?

Anyone for some Deep Throat?

Inside Deep Throat (2005) Rating: NC-17

In case you don't know what NC-17 that means GIGGITY!!! So I must admit I've never actually seen the movie Deep Throat, I'm not even sure if it's available any more (thank you Dick...Nixon). So when I found this on Netflix I figured I would check it out since it was the next best thing. What I thought would be a good ol' sex flick turned out to be that and more. The first half of the movie was about the director and how he assembled the cast and crew. The idea being to have a story centered around a whole lot of sex...leading up to the climax (pun intended). Unless you are underage (in which case you shouldn't even be reading this) you should have an idea as to what the "climax" of Deep Throat was. Apparently women back then didn't do *cough cough* that. Thanks to the star of the flick Linda Lovelace it has either become more common place or women who can do that tend to end up doing porn. I'll leave that to you to decide. Anyway...so...there was a good amount of nudity at the beginning. Funny stories of making Deep Throat all leading up to the release of the film (Deep Throat...not this one). Then they discuss the troubles they started having once the film was released and the eventual trial of the actor in the film Harry Reems and his eventual acquittal (the Democrats took over after Dick...Nixon). It then tells of how after the trial he tried to make it in "real" movies only to be rejected by the execs. in Hollywood...he was/is the guy from Deep Throat after all. It also tells of Linda Lovelace's denouncing of the movie years later, where she basically says her hubby "forced" her to do the movie. Later on in her life, she once again embraced the movie and the name Linda Lovelace. Oh and did I mention...it shows the climax scene in this documentary? If you're a sexual person you'll enjoy this documentary. If you believe in Freedom Of Speech, you'll enjoy this documentary. If you're a prude...stay away.

Come And Knock On Our Door...

Three's Company Season 2 (1977) Rating: NR

Watching this show as a kid, I didn't fully understand a lot of the innuendo going on in the show. Here I am at 30 going back to watch this show that for some reason struck a chord with me so many years ago. I haven't decided why it stuck with me but I have narrowed it down to two things...the good lookin blond Chrissy Snow (played by Suzanne Somers) or the classic physical comedy of Jacked Tripper (played by the legendary John Ritter). Season one, which I watched just prior to starting this blog, has a mere 6 episodes. That is nice to see in that it introduces us to the three roomates (Chrissy, Jack and Janet...played by Joyce DeWitt) and the sexually starved Mrs Roper and her husband Mr. Roper. It is not until the second season where all these characters fully develop. We find out Chrissy's full name (which I found very humorous) and see John Ritter's physical comedy really shine. I have always felt a bit sad for Janet/Joyce in that she was really good at her character...but her character is to be the support of the sexy blond and the clumsy horn dog...did I mention that Jack is really into women...I hope I didn't just spoil things for anyone. If I did I apologize, but we're onto the second season...catch up damn it!!! We also see the full introduction of Jack's friend and used car salesman Larry Dallas. It was also the second season where Three's Company had their first "PSA" type episode with the episode called "Days Of Beer & Weeds". A wacky episode that tackled issues such as riding a bicycle while intoxicated (illegal) and...marijuana. I won't give out any spoilers because I already did that earlier (again...I'm sorry). But once I was done with all the episodes in this set, I took a look at the bonus material (yes...I'm that guy). The bonus material alone is worth the price of admission. It has a 10 minute tribute to John Ritter hosted by Joyce DeWitt (aka Janet), A 20+ best of John Ritter reel. Plus about 20 minutes of Best Of material for the other main characters (Chrissy, Janet & The Ropers). If you're a John Ritter fan, I would check this set out. Very good set all around. Very enjoyable!

Alice Cooper: Brutally Live

Alice Cooper: Brutally Live (2000) Rating: NR

So for me personally, I seen Alice on his Dragontown tour a few years back. It was a good show, but nothing like this. Filmed on his Brutal Planet tour in London England, this concert is really good. The band seems to be really tight, there is good energy from both performer & audience. Many various costume changes (from the classic white jacket and top hat to a t-shirt reading "Britney Loves Me..." on the front "Dead" on the back). For me the show really picks up when he does "Dead Babies" (complete with the two headed "monster baby" which he proceeds to kill (it's a doll folks...settle down), followed by being put in a straight jacket during "The Ballad Of Dwight Frye" and ending with the guillotine during "I Love The Dead". I did find it odd that he takes the makeup off after the guillotine, maybe he's been doing that for some time, I'm not sure. Just an odd thing I happened to notice. He does all the songs you would expect him too (so that's good for the casual fan), although for me if I never hear "Poison" again, it's not soon enough. However he makes up for it by doing "Only Women Bleed". Camera wise it is shot really well. When I watch a concert DVD such as this there are two things that usually bother me. Either the constant changing between band members to where you have no idea what the fuck you're looking at, or the type of director who thinks he's directing "Citizen Cain" and not a rock 'n' roll concert. This one, at times does seem to switch between band members a bit, but for the most part it's pretty enjoyable. Early on in the performance the camera gets some great close up shots of Alice (in makeup) with a yellow hue around him. It's very creepy and really makes an impact. I would highly recommend this DVD to any Cooper fan. It's a fun watch!!!

Bat Thumb

Yes an odd little picture to start the reviews with I know, first review is of Bat Thumb (2001). But I seriously just watched this one (as well as an Alice Cooper DVD which I'll review next). So basically it's a spoof of Batman, but the characters are, you guessed it, thumbs. The actual movie is only 28 minutes long (including credits), but I found myself laughing. The story is about the evil "No Face" who is trying to take over Gaathumb City. Luckily for the citizen's of Gaathumb, our hero Bat Thumb (a.k.a. Wuce Bane) and his trusty side kick Blue Jay are there to save the day and get the girl (Vicky Nail). Produced by Steve Oedekerk this movie is a fun little flick that anyone who doesn't take the Batman series too seriously can enjoy. However if you're expecting a long drawn out "real" comedy, stay away from this one. Oh and from what I can tell this film has not been rated so from what I can remember the kids can watch, but I'm not about to tell you how to parent your children...that's your job.

In the beginning

Hey,

So I don't know if I'm doing this right or what. I hope some kind soul will tell me if I'm not. Anyway,I'm a big fan of movies, so I've decided to start a blog where I can review movies that I watch. I'm a member of Netflix and my queue on there is usually up to its max of 500 flicks. I do my best to watch roughly about let's say 9 movies a week depending on my mood. I'm not afraid to watch any sort of movie, so if you're reading this and would like me to watch a movie that you like, by all means please leave a comment and I'll check it out. That being said, I'm a very opinionated person and if I watch a movie and it sucks donkey balls I won't be afraid to tell you so. Oh and if you didn't figure out with that last comment, I don't believe in political correctness. I swear like a sailor and I don't apologize for it. If you have a problem with swearing, go read Roger Ebert or the other guy. I got two fingers and they aren't thumbs. I enjoy the days of movies where there was nudity (preferably the female variety, however there have been times where male nudity has gotten my attention...take Sleepaway Camp for example). I also enjoy the days of black and white flicks as well. I will be honest, I'm having a real tough time with current movies though. What with their CGI and their remakes. When I sit down to see a movie for the most part I don't care about how spectacular it looks. What I care about is being told a good story, boobs and memorable lines. My two favorite directors of all time are George Romero & Kevin Smith (not known for the boobs I know...but I'm a complex person). I also enjoy rock 'n' roll so you'll get reviews of various concert DVD's, new albums and anything else that relates . With music I like pretty much everything except current rap and country (and other obvious stuff like polka). I enjoy reading as well, so if I get a good book I'll review that as well (oh who are we kidding, I'll review it even if it sucks donkey balls). The last two books I read were "We'll Be Here For The Rest Of Our Lives" by Paul Shaeffer and Life On Planet Rock by Lonn Friend. Just so you can get a taste of my tastes. So now the challenge....will I keep this thing up? Of course I intend to. But I guess it depends on how many people read and what the general feedback is. If you all are horribly brutal and tell me that I (wait for it...wait for it) suck donkey balls, then I will take my ball home. But if everyone loves it, professional writers tell me I'm brilliant etc., I'll keep going. So although I'll be posting the reviews, this blog is just as much for the people as it is for me. And now for something completely different...