Anyone for a Big Mac?

Fleetwood Mac: In Performance (2009) Rating: UR

I was reading about this DVD from the net. A "bootleg" 80 minute cut of their Mirage Tour VHS, this is a must see for REAL Fleetwood Mac fans. The reason I say this is because the sound quality is pretty bad, the transfer (since it is an unofficial release...on DVD) is not the greatest and anyone who wants to hear and see Fleetwood Mac at their "best" would be disappointed. That being said, if you're a real fan, you'll be amazed to see the band at their debauched finest. From the opening song, The Chain, we the viewer can see the tension between Nicks & Buckingham, almost shouting the line "IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME NOW...YOU WILL NEVER LOVE ME AGAIN" at each other. When either Stevie or Lindsey aren't performing they are rather quick to exit the stage (btw...I'm not gonna go over the history between the two here...if you don't already know then go read any basic history on the band). But along with that dynamic we also see the recently divorced John & Christine McVie trying to come to terms with their breakup...again causing for some great musical moments. And who can forget good ol' Mick...beating the holy hell out of his kit, making his odd faces...all the while having his "caretaker" pour x bottles of beer in his mouth....WHILE PLAYING!!!! Rock 'N' Roll the way it should be!!! There is also a "trimmed down" version of Tusk where we see Christine playing accordian, rather than the big brass marching band that usually accompanies this tune. But the ultimate in this collection is when Stevie performs the what is often referred as the "Speaking In Tongues" version of Sisters Of The Moon, where she is obviously high on coke, Sex, drugs, & Rock 'N' Roll!!!!

Romancing The Stone...More like Romancing The Crap

Romancing The Stone (1984) Rating: PG

Going into this one, I was expecting an Indiana Jones rip off, but instead I got a Indiana Jones meets chick flicks....sadly, the chick flick aspect of it over powered the Indiana Jones portion. The story is about a romance novelist who's sister ends up getting kidnapped for....well...I missed that...I have no fucking clue why she was kidnapped. Some how she came into possession of a map to a treasure. So while she's trying to rescue her sister she meets the Michael Douglas character and they are off to find this treasure and the sister, and of course, they end up falling madly in love with one another. And to be honest with you...it wasn't a treasure...it was one fuckin stone. I mean really...I get the whole thing about wanting to save your sister...but to go through all the Indiana Jones bullshit they go through for one fucking stone. Fuck that. Oh plus it stars what's her face, which I'm not a big fan of anyway. So bottom line, just go watch Indiana Jones...it's far superior without the lovey dovey bullshit.

The Winslow Stewie

The Winslow Boy (1999) Rating: G

I had no idea what this movie was about going into it, other than it was an English period flick. I had little hope for it. It centers around a kid who was studying in the Royal Naval College, but after an incident where he is accused of stealing, he is expelled. The father of the kid decides he has to clear the boy (and the family name) of this "injustice" since the kid is clearly innocent. I liked the concept, but it is terribly British. Really snooty douche bag type of characters. If it hadn't been for the kid saying "I say..." before every damn thing he says, I would say this film was a total bust. But because of that one phrase...he reminded me of Stewie from Family Guy and that made me happy :D

Hancock...I just said cock!

Hancock (2008) Rating: UR

I had little expectation, and little hope going into this flick. I stopped caring about Will Smith after The Fresh Prince, and Jason Bateman hasn't been cool since "Valerie"....or if you prefer "The Hogan's". Although it's never a problem to see Charlize Theron. Anyway, this is actually a pretty good flick. Centers around Smith who is a "super hero" with an attitude. He likes his drink, he has no problem swearing, basically my kinda guy. The problem though, is the fact that the public begins to turn on him. Bateman's character who is a PR guy decides he wants to help Hancock spruce up his image after Hancock saves his life. It's here that we find out that Charlize Theron is Bateman's wife...but with an interesting past. I won't give away any more. You'll have to see it if you are curious.....oh yeah....and if you're a fan of the TV show "The Middle"...it has the kid who plays Brick in it....and he says asshole. BONUS!!!

Come And Knock On Larry

Three's Company: The Third Season (1978) Rating: NR

So here we are again, knockin on that old familiar door. What can I say about this season that I didn't say previously? What is Three's Company missing that they haven't done before? What is the ultimate in physical comedy? You guessed it...pies in the face!!!!! This season contains a great episode where Jack enters his pie into a contest and when Chrissy ends up eating the pie...well...I don't want to give away too much...let's just say it ends up with every main cast member having a pie in their face. This is also the season where we see the Ropers off on their own adventures (well for a couple years a least...to make the short lived spin off "The Ropers). Like previous seasons we also have commentary on an episode or two with Chris Mann, author of "Come And Knock On Our Door: A Hers And Hers And His Guide To Three's Company". And for me, the icing on the cake were the interviews with Dave Powers (director of the show from season 3-8) and the ultimate Three's Company character (next to Jack of course)...Mr. Richard Kline (aka Larry Dallas). When asked about John Ritter, he became very teary eyed and said "I can't talk about John....other than thank God I knew him and thank God for TV". I thought that summed it all up nicely.

I Want That One!

Little Britain: The Complete First Series (2003) Rating: NR

Awhile back I happened to catch David Walliams on the Today Show. One of the stars of Little Britain, an English sketch comedy show. I saw clips of it and thought it looked pretty funny. Well, it is pretty damn funny. At first I was thinking it was like a combo between Monty Python & Mr. Bean, but as the series progresses, it really comes into its own. Being a handicapped individual, the funniest characters for me are Lou & Andy. Andy being a "handicapped" guy in a wheelchair, and Lou being his friend who helps Andy out doing every day things. Andy is always saying he wants something (ex: his room painted red) and when he gets it, he says I don't want it. As the series progresses, Andy's wants and needs increases and Lou's patience grows shorter and shorter. Another great gag in the same skit is when Lou will turn away from Andy and Andy will get out of his wheelchair and do some off the wall activity (jumping off a diving board for example). That is just one sample of a list of characters that are just as funny. Highly recommend this series!

Steve Martin Was A Spanish Prisoner

The Spanish Prisoner (1997) Rating: PG

A indie flick directed by David Mamet and starring Steve Martin and that one dude that is in a lot of soft core porn flicks...you know the guy. It also has William H. Macy's wife in it as well...you know her. That being said, I'm not a big fan of Steve Martin so I was a bit hesitant going into this flick. This is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. The porn guy is some sorta inventor guy and he invents this product that is going to make him and the company he works for a lot of money. But of course it all goes horribly wrong and the invention ends up getting stolen. This turns into a who done it where everyone is suspect. By the end of it my jaw was dropped and I couldn't believe how it ended. Great flick. Strongly recommend you all see it!

I Would Like To Light Her Bug

Lightning Bug (2004) Rating: NR

I liked this flick, up till the end. A story about a young man in a small southern town who has dreams of being a big time Hollywood makeup and special effects guy for horror films. It centers around his struggles to live in a community full of holy rollers and his obsession with horror films. Naturally because he likes such films that obviously makes him a devil worshipper. So when things go wrong in the town the blame is automatically put on him. It was a really good fun watch up till the Hollywood ending that you see coming a mile away. Oh and it has Laura Prepon , you know, Donna from That 70's Show. There is hints of side boob at one point where her and the dude are getting it on, but no actual nudity. I'm still waiting to see the flick where she gets naked. That will be a glorious day!!!!

Unsuccessfully Coping With...

An impromptu post, that for me, must be made. I know this blog is supposed to be about reviews but this post is not a review. Instead this is a post about the passing of one of the greatest metal singers of all time. Mr. Peter Steele of Type O Negative. I became aware of Type O back in 1993 when their album Bloody Kisses was released and they had the two hit singles Christian Woman, and Black No. 1. I was about 13 years old back then, and still new to the metal scene. Needless to say, the bass in Mr. Steele's voice stuck with me. Since 93 I have gone and purchased all their back category plus the albums that have came out since then. I had the pleasure of seeing the band back in roughly, 1999 on the World Coming Down tour with my dad who is also a fan (he hasn't heard the news yet). It was one of the funnest shows I have ever seen. At one point the bands power was blown out. So rather than standing there like a dick, Peter said something to the effect of "Oh well I need to piss any way" and promptly left the stage. Was this just for show? I don't know, but I want to believe that it was. It makes for a great memory. Type O also reminds me of a trip I took once to Phoenix. It was on that trip I managed to buy the Slow, Deep And Hard album. It was on this album (their first release) that I heard my all time favorite Type O song. A track by the name of "Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty Of Infidelity". To me that song shows the band at their "playful" best. Plus how can you go wrong with the line "I know you're fuckin someone else". But back to Phoenix...I was staying with a guy in a dingy hotel because his parents were douche bags and didn't want me staying with them (or was it that he was just a dick and wanted to stay in a hotel on my dime...sorry that's a rant for another time). So back to my story, here I was in this cheap dingy hotel, I pop in this album and somehow it all seemed to fit perfectly. The music, the surrounding, the company. Whenever I hear a song off that album, I'm automatically taken back to that time. I could go on for days about all the wonderful memories Type O has given me, but it's late, my heart is heavy and you probably don't want to hear much more. Let me just end with, Everything Dies. R.I.P. Peter Steele.

P.S. Kris did not edit this post, so if there is bad spelling, grammar, etc, it's my fault. I just needed to post this right now, while the thoughts and feelings are still fresh...and the music is rockin \m/

This Movie Was Over In A Lightspeed

Lightspeed (2006) Rating: NR

A lesser known Stan Lee creation, Lightspeed is a super hero with the ability to move at the speed of light, caused by a radiation accident started by his nemesis Python (which we find out they were friends prior to Python's accident in a lab that caused him to turn into a python type man). We then watch Lightspeed try to defeat Python and bring order to the world. It's not the greatest super hero flick, but it does have Nicole Eggert in it . The funny thing about it though, is the fact that she goes from being her trademark blond, to a light brown in between scenes. It's very distracted and almost ruins the film. Oh also, she doesn't get naked. I was hoping. But no such luck.

What He Should've Said, Wasn't As Funny As What He Did!

Mike Birbiglia: What I Should Have Said (2008) Rating: NR

One of my favorite comedians Mike Birbiglia put out this awesome routine a few years back. Being familiar with his stuff from the Bob & Tom Radio Show, I was excited to see what he would do. Well my friends, this is a great set. Talking about all sorts of subjects, this material is taken mostly from Birbiglia's "Secret Public Journal" blogs, and since I do subscribe to the Secret Public Journal...I was familiar with quite a bit of the skits he performed. But none the less, it was still hilarious. From the classic Pro Am golf tourney bit to the What I Should Have Said, bits, Birbigs does not disappoint. Plus as a bonus on the DVD, he goes back and does other bits from earlier on in his career, such as Wiffleball Tony. Ending the set with a great observation about Christian Rock....btw the song he comes up with....catchy as all hell if I may say so myself.

La Vie Promise To End Already!!!

La Vie Promise (2002) Rating: NR

Going into this film I was rather excited. The description was something along the line of being a movie about a prostitute who has a daughter who is in trouble with the law so they go on the run. Now, tell me that doesn't sound like a fantastic concept with a high possibility of nudity. Well...let me tell you...there was no nudity. Oh and guess what...about half way through, it became a chick flick type of film turning from a suspenseful "how are they going to get away" to "I need to reconnect with my past" Oprah bullshit. Oh and did I mention it's another French film? Yeah. I found myself looking at the clock many times during this film, just waiting for the end. And yes, I made it to the end. But I tell ya, that's 93 boobless minutes of my life I'm never getting back!!!!!

District B13...Isn't That A Vitamin?

District B13 (2004) Rating: R

A French film with subtitles (for us English guys too lazy to learn French) this film is about a city that is isolated from the rest of Paris, due to high crime, poverty, etc and how the government treats the citizens of this particular area. An action flick, that is like a cross between Die Hard & Fast And The Furious with shitty "house" music as a soundtrack. Now to be fair, I'm not a fan of house music, so a fan might enjoy the soundtrack. For me, it gave me a headache. But despite the shit music, this movie was actually a very intense, fun action packed popcorn flick. But at the same time, it did have a message aside from just being a fun watch. It throws a nice big middle finger at the "man". I don't want to give away too much, because then there would be no point in you, the reader, watching. But I will say, I found myself wondering how the main characters were going to be able to survive living in a society with no rules, regulations or morals...or if they will.

An Explanation

I've been having people ask, how do you choose your movies that you watch/review. Well, I do review everything I see, good or bad. As you may or may not know, I have Netflix. I have the at home stuff that is just random and basically a crap shoot, unless I'm really in the mood to see something (i.e. Three's Company). Then there is the Instant Queue stuff, which is where I see most of my stuff. Here's how I do that. Started off with me putting stuff from my at home queue into my instant queue. From there I added stuff that Netflix decided that I would "like". Sometimes, I don't think Netflix knows me at all. Once I reached the alotted 500 in my queue (that's right I had 500 in instant queue...as well as about 500 in my in home queue), I think started randomly watching movies. However it soon came to my attention that Netflix gets rid of certain movies from their instant queue on various dates. So once I realized that, I then made a list of those movies, catagorized them into dates (from the earliest "exit" date to latest), once I got that straightened out, I then catagorize it by run time (shortest to longest). It's a long tedious process, but as crazy as it might sound, it really is rewarding when all is said and done...for the month. Plus it allows me to see all sorts of varieties of movies. I can go from Steel Magnolias, to White Zombie and anything in between with this method. Oh, and I also watch movies that I purchase as well obviously, and again, I do take recommendations/suggestions. At time of this writing I've only had one. I blame you my readers...you are slackers. Step up to the challenge!!!! As I stated in the past, this blog is just as much for you as it is for me!

On a side note, I would like to take this time out to thank Kris for helping proof read my posts. I do my best to use the English language correctly and I'm totally against text speak or bad grammar. That being said, I am human and I do make mistakes. So it is nice to know I can send her my weekly reviews and she looks over them for any mistakes without complaint. This blog wouldn't be as awesome as it is without her help. Thank you.

I also want to thank Chris for his advice and feedback on the blog. Not to mention for helping to get my love of film to blossom. He is the type of guy that can give you a 20 minute bio on numerous actors throughout the history of film. I always give him a hard time about this, but in reality it has helped me out in lots of different ways. I mean he's the only person in the world that can tell me what that zombie flick with the naked chick in the cemetery is. Every time I come across an 80's zombie flick I always have to check with him to make sure it's not that movie (I've seen it over a half dozen times...and not on purpose). So thank you Chris for all that you do!

Ice Cold

The Iceman: Confessions Of A Mafia Hitman (1992) Rating: NR

WOW, this documentary is intense. Showing two different interviews with mafia hitman Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski filmed a decade apart. It lets the viewer into the mind of what appears to be an unremorseful killer. I have seen a lot of documentary's similar to this one (Gotti, Sammy The Bull etc.) but none of them have shaken me up like this one. He recounts various killings he did throughout his "career" and how the "one man I didn't kill" ended up being the one man who put him away. He says that the only thing he regrets is letting one of his victims pray for half hour, before he finally killed the victim. Really rough stuff to sit through if you have a weak stomach. It also interviews his wife who talks about how she knew nothing of what he did. Overall this is a really good watch. Highly recommend it!

Hey! Ho!...Did He Just Call Me A Ho?

Ramones: Raw (2004) Rating: NR

This is a great film. Basically a bunch of home movie type footage throughout the years of the band (mainly from later years though...which makes the early shots that much better). Sprinkled throughout the footage are various rare performances, TV shows and commercial spots. The film itself is about 2 hours long and really worth the view if you're a Ramones fan. Not to mention that it also doesn't shy away from the period where Dee Dee left the band AND his rap career. The best documentary on the Ramones I've seen to date.

White or Black...Does It Matter What Color The Zombie Is?

White Zombie (1932) Rating: NR

The movie that inspired the band of the same name. This 1932 film starring Bela Lugosi is very similar to the other horror classic film he starred in called Dracula....but with zombies. Mind control was a big thing back then. But because of this, a lot of times I was questioning if I had seen it already. Anyway, from a historical stand point it's a great watch. But to me it doesn't break any new ground (even for its time). Your typical 1930's horror film. So if you're a big fan of those type of films yes check it out, but if you're interested in a good zombie flick that isn't campy, stay away.

Managing Sleep

Management (2008) Rating: R

So this is a chick flick at its finest. Ok not really. I checked this flick out on one boring Saturday afternoon when there was nothing better to do. The reason why I gave it any time was because it had Jennifer Aniston in it. Your typical flick about boy meets girl in a hotel, boy loses girl, boy goes across country to find girl. There are two redeeming qualities to this film though. The close up shot of Aniston's ass, and the fact that part of it is supposed to take place in a town by the name of Aberdeen, Washington. If you were alive in the 90's then you probably already know that the spokesperson of that era was born in that very same town. If you're scratching your head wondering who that might be....the towns motto has now become "Come As You Are..."